Let the hormones begin...or continue

I think today was quite a hormonal day as I got emotional a couple of times and man, am I sweatin' in this hot weather like a mama pig.

Moment #1: Tobey and Tom in the pool
After I got out of my afternoon shower, I heard that Tom had pulled out the $7 play swimming pool for Tobey in the backyard. It was as peaceful a scene as it could get with no background noise other than the splashing of water, Tom teaching Tobey how to squeeze water out of a bottle and Tobey's giggles. I realized that Eli and I are on one schedule and the rest of the household is on Tobey's (with Tom spanning both for diaper changes) and that when those schedules don't coincide, I might miss precious moments like this. So breaking all the Chinese confinement rules, I step out on the back porch with wet hair in a towel to watch my boys play in the water.

Moment #2: Tobey rediscovers his newborn activity mat
Wanting to find alternate places to lay down Eli besides just the bouncy seat, I had Tom pull out the round activity mat that we used to put Tobey down on in his newborn days. Not a newborn anymore, Tobey was playing with the mat (stepping on it, pulling it across the floor) when Eli wasn't on it. At one point, we showed him how the hanging toys play music when squeezed and he started squeezing them. Out came the little tunes that we heard 2 years ago along with all of my emotions about those tough beginning newborn days. To add to the moment, Tobey would squeeze and stare at the toy, almost as if it was something familiar to him but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. And it dawned on me that newborn Tobey is now toddler Tobey that I've come to love and appreciate so much.

Funny how my hormonal moments seem to be nostalgia from Tobey's days, versus new thoughts about life with Eli added. Don't think I have the baby blues this time (yet?) but that doesn't mean the hormonal moments aren't there either.

The moments came to an abrupt end when Tobey put down the activity mat and rushed towards me for what I assumed was going to be a loving and enthusiastic hug. It turned into an accidental head butt on my already swollen breast and I let out a big "ow!" and started sobbing in pain, in emotion from watching Tobey play and also guilt because it was just an accident and I didn't want Tobey to feel bad for making Mommy cry. Lucky for me, Tom's parents were out grocery shopping at the time and didn't see me in my moments.