Tobey: Missing you?

Tobey, being 4.5 and a boy, has this tendency to speak frankly. And so three times now in various situations (Ms. Vanessa returning from maternity leave, Emily Y returning from a week vacation, Mr. Piet passing away), he has matter-of-factly said that he did not miss aforementioned missing person. Literally, after a week of vacation, Amy, Emily's mom, came by to pick up Tobey for carpool only to hear this in the backseat of her car:

Emily Y: Tobey, I missed you.
Tobey: I didn't miss you.
Emily Y: No, I really did miss you!
Tobey: But I didn't miss you.
Amy: (laughing inside)

Besides the obvious social faux pas, Tom and I have always wondered whether this meant he hasn't really bonded with friends at school or anywhere. He definitely has friends -- he knows them all by name and will play with them if they are playing what he wants to play -- and there are kids that like to play with Tobey (including girls!). But sometimes when we get together with a friend, the mom will tell me that their kid has been asking to play with Tobey. But Tobey doesn't usually ask to get together with a particular friend. He doesn't have a "best" friend nor does he have a name or two that he definitely mentions over and over. Not that we really expected that from him, especially a boy, but as usual, when we see other kids "bonding" (like Emily M and the mystery Chinese twins at the park, bonded in one lunch time), we wonder, what makes Tobey different?

But now that we are just a week away from moving away, I think I'm starting to notice that missing someone doesn't always come in the form of saying, I miss you. The other day he randomly said he wanted to have a going away party at Anne's house. But when I said that we are having a going away party on Friday, he asked if Anne would be there. "And Spencer too?", he added. And then tonight on the way home from the Yu's, he wanted to drive by Anne's house, because it might be the last time he could see it. My friend Jenny did the same thing in high school but that was called stalking. :-) When it's our usually-indifferent 4.5 year old child asking to do it, it's sweet. And of course we obliged. And of course, Tom and I felt like stalkers.

Maybe that little guy will miss his friends after all.