Solo parenting - Day 3

Skype etiquette. My kids have none. But these daily Skype dates with Tom might possibly be paying off beyond "just" connecting back with Daddy.

Typically, we Skype to our parents once every few weeks so they can see the grandkids and vice versa. The "conversations" usually consist of my boys shoving random toys or crafts into the camera for the grandparents to see (or not see as the case may be), without any explanation or announcement of what said object is. Or the boys will be silly with each other while the grandparents try to ask them basic questions. Or the grandparents are struggling to understand what my boys are mumbling or giggling into the camera. All of this peppered with me and/or Tom scolding them to speak clearly, stop fooling around and don't block the camera.

Fun times. Makes you wonder if it's just easier to drive the 8-10 hours it takes to see the grandparents in person.

I had a glimpse of the boyish fascination with the webcam when Tom made his first or second call home. He has a portable webcam which he mounts on his laptop and at the start of this early conversation, Tom took the webcam and rotated it, making it look like he's floating in a space station, all to approving giggles from the boys. We got a close up of Daddy's nose, his eyes and the boys did the same in return. At first I thought, apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Then I thought, better to get this silliness out of their system with their dad rather than with their grandparents.

By date #3, yesterday's Skype date, the boys are still starting out the whole webcam thing on a silly note. Yesterday's silliness was because Tom's audio wasn't working so we had to speak into the cell phone while still seeing and hearing him on our computer. The boys quickly found out that if they made a loud noise into the cell phone, they can hear it broadcasted on the computer on Tom's end a split second later. Of course they had to try this multiple times with different kinds of noises to see if every single one ended up in California okay. When it was time to move on to real conversation, I had to allow them one more "noise" and then we talk to Daddy for real.

I was pleasantly surprised that real conversations then happened. It started with Eli (with Tobey purposely removed from the camera) who has always been more verbal about recounting his day with us than Tobey usually is. Thank goodness Tom could understand everything Eli's broken story telling was conveying (a problem the grandparents have which probably contributes to the boys not having good conversation skills with them). It went on for a few minutes. Real conversation!

I usually don't like to compare kids but at this point, I'm whispering to Tobey, "See what a pleasant conversation looks like? You tell the other person something and they might ask a question back. No silliness or playing with the camera." And to my surprise, Tobey has a nice conversation with Tom as well, perhaps one of the first times ever I have seen Tobey have a back-and-forth non-silly conversation on webcam, one that didn't require me to constantly center him back to focus on the person on the other end.

We will still need to work on clear and loud speaking for future webcams with the grandparents and their fading hearing. But I have high hopes anchored in reality for tonight. I will expect a few minutes of silliness in the beginning for all the boys ;-) to get the novelty of the webcam and seeing each other for the first time out of the way. After that is when I hope pleasant conversations can emerge again.