Solo parenting - Day 1

Tom's back in CA for the week, visiting the mother ship. So it's just me and the boys for the next 5 days. Some early observations of my brief stint with solo parenting:

• When I'm on my own, I'm a little more efficient with my time, knowing there's no one else to back me up or pick up where I left off. For instance, Eli fell asleep on the hallway floor today after school (yes, I did say the hallway floor) so I took that opportunity to grab my shower for the day so that I don't 1) feel guilty about leaving him on his own while I shower like I do on all the other days or 2) feel like I have to put him in front of "the babysitter" (i.e., the TV). He woke up and never knew the difference, except that Mommy's hair was no longer in its ubiquitous ponytail. Dishes are not piled as high as usual (then again, with a week's worth of meals consisting of cutting open a bag of something from Trader Joe's, it's not like there's a lot of dishes this week anyway). I actually wiped the island counter before Tom left. Not only did I take out the trash that I hate taking out, I did it in the afternoon so that I wouldn't have to do it at night in the dark. Laundry is about the same. I think the last load of laundry Tom did was October 2009.
  
• Trader Joe's dinners that were meant to serve four people, apparently only serve three Changs. And if it's the orange chicken or the Korean kalbi, it might only feed two little Changs. 
• In the area of helping out with the kids, Tom's absence is most felt in the mornings and at bedtime. No time to lounge around in bed when no one else will make their breakfast or rush them out the door but me. And I thought the bedtime would be a struggle since Tom basically does bedtime 99% of the time these days. But maybe knowing that I have to do it, I'm mentally prepared to last into the bedtime hour unlike when Tom is here and I barely make it past dinner.
• When Tom left, he told Tobey to help Mommy out. Tobey has certainly likened to that role, not exactly playing the Daddy role (although he did try to make an excuse to sleep in our big bed, nice try, buddy), but once in a while asking how he could help. Sweet boy. Now I can see how the oldest kid in the family feels more responsibility than us youngests. Eli has felt no extra weight whatsoever in Daddy's absence.
• Daddy being away on business has certainly taken a hi-tech spin in 2010. We're doing a daily 8PM Eastern/5PM Pacific time Skype webcam date so the boys can say good night to Tom. And the GMail address we reserved for Tobey is coming in handy as Tobey is excited to check to see if Daddy wrote him an email. When I was growing up, I might talk on the phone with my dad a little but basically, it was wait and see what stuffed animal he brings home after his business trips.
• As far as Tom's non-daddy presence, it's nice to get the short phone call or evening Skype from Tom. Almost like we're dating again! :-D And, as far as being the MAN in the house: tonight while I was tucking the boys in, we got a knock at the door. It kind of startled me and my heart was beating. We NEVER get knocks on the door at that hour and it was just me and the boys. I had to think about where my phone and the nearest thing that could pass for a baseball bat were. Thankfully, it looked like two teenage boys going door-to-door, probably for fundraising. And as I peeped out the window to see them walk away, I saw our neighbor's SUV drive home, just reminding me that folks were nearby. I could see a brief look of fear on Tobey's eyes when he first heard the knock and I hope my 10 seconds of fear didn't freak him out. But they're both in bed quietly now, so I hope that was the end of that.
  
• The evenings after the boys go to bed are fairly relaxing. I got to watch Masterpiece Classics: Emma last night. It's not like I wouldn't have watched it even if Tom were here. It's just that I could watch without guilt. And without snarky comments. Oh before you all say how mean I am, Tom is contemplating grabbing In-N-Out and seeing Avatar in IMAX tonight so let's just say we're both making do with our free time even while missing each other.
  

I made a row of 6 Post-Its that count down the days until Tom returns so that the kids (mainly Eli) could visualize how long Daddy will be gone. I don't know if that's a help or a hindrance, a constant reminder that Daddy is out of town. But so far so good, no major meltdowns by the boys or me, and the week seems well-planned and well-paced.

Then again, it's only Day 1!