Tobey: A toddler communication mishap

I had a frustrating moment with Tobey, a classic toddler meltdown due to not being able to communicate.

He was standing in front of the sink to wash his hands. I turn on the water only to be received by a big whine and a "heh beh". A minute or two of me trying to understand what he's saying and I can't decipher it. So I say sorry that I don't understand, let's just wash our hands. Meltdown commences along with a hit and a kick at me. So I forcibly wash his hands, admittedly out of anger and some show that I have control over him. Probably what would have been better was a no-warning naughty corner as Tom and I have talked about (Tobey knows what's a no-no but will try to see if he can get away with a few occurences before we give naughty corner).

We've known Tobey's a "stuffer", pent up emotion that comes exploding out at any given moment. We've known that he probably inherited that trait from Tom, who, along with Dennis, inherited it from his dad. But I probably have a little bit of it too. I tried to be patient but once Tobey crosses the line, especially after a mishap-filled morning, I just shut down and there's no more negotiations and nice mommy has left the building.

After walking away for a minute or two, and after Tobey has a chance to cry, we're both a little more back to normal, or at least back to reasonable. Over lunch, Tobey is nicely eating while I nursed Eli. Then Tobey says, "Tobey cry mommy wa-wa turn off?" (meaning: Tobey cried when Mommy turned [on] the water?) and I said yes. Then he gives me a big smile and all seems to be forgiven, on both sides.