So much negativity

(From Monday...)

I can sometimes predict when I'll be Dr. Jekyll and when I'll be Mr. Hyde when it comes to Tobey. Unfortunately, when Eli is awake, I often turn into Mr. Hyde...or whichever guy was the bad one! Tobey's actions towards Eli are usually ungentle since he's just a toddler, so there's a constant stream of "Don't touch his face", "No, not his hands", or "Pat pat gentle." Sometimes when I'm nursing Eli, Tobey starts doing things to get negative attention. And sometimes, just the fact that both kids are awake at the same time makes me physically and mentally tired and therefore the extra patience it takes to not react so harshly to some situations is just not there.

I hope to turn the tide though. Not only do I not want to be so negative towards Tobey, I definitely don't want him to realize that it's associated with when Eli is around. I'm lucky so far that Tobey loves Eli and doesn't appear to have any jealousy. I want to keep it that way.