Uncle Sandy

Today is Uncle Sandy's funeral in DC.

Uncle Sandy is one of the many uncles and aunties that made up the "Cantonese gang" growing up. We celebrated every Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chinese New Year and early birthdays with the Cantonese gang. My parents and these friends have known each other for over 40 years and we "kids" have literally grown up with each other. We were each other's extended family in a day where traveling cross country or internationally was less common. They still get together even now that all of us have grown up and don't always come home each Christmas.

It was with them that Stephanie and I would say longingly, "Seeya in a million billion years!" and with them that we kids learned how to play poker from Phillip, whom we all swore was cheating. With them we would lock David in the basement or "smell the money" with Uncle Robert, as he introduced us to gambling with nickels and dimes. Speaking of nickels and dimes, Uncle Robert also used to give us all a quarter if we would sit quietly during a classical concert.

As for Uncle Sandy, it was at Brian's house (Brian's their only child) that we ALWAYS had Thanksgiving because Auntie Lana was the only one who could make a turkey. The Detroit Lions game was always on by the time we arrived and we would play pool (or was it trains? something with a table) in their rec room. I think my parents are closer to Uncle Robert and Auntie Annie but Uncle Sandy and family were part of the early if not original gang. And because of that, I feel like a little part of my childhood is bidding farewell today because of the Cantonese gang's first parent to pass away.

These days, or I guess at least with us, holidays is a lot about actual family and the traveling craze. I wonder if friends like the Cantonese gang, a circle of 5-10 families that have all remained friends over decades, really exist in my generation. Tom grew up with something similar, the "camping group", but I can't think of a proper analogy to Tobey and Eli now. Maybe Tobey's playgroup on Mondays (Cindy and Angela) but mostly it's we moms and kids that play together and occasionally the dads will meet up too. Our other close friends are all "one offs", not a group that all knows each other (although I think by now, they've all heard of each other!). Perhaps the closest analogy I could see is the hockey/Appsig/Princeton crowd but we just see them for Ou-Tang or a random birthday party. So I guess "gangs" can exist in our generation but not for us at this time in our lives. Tobey and Eli's childhood may take a much different form from mine and I find that a strange unchartered territory.

Bye, Uncle Sandy. Thanks for being a part of our lives.