Potty training - part 1

I titled this "part 1" because, in case you only have a second to read, we started and stopped potty training Tobey this weekend.

Working backwards in our calendar from here until preschool, Tobey needs to be potty trained for preschool which starts towards the end of August. (Aside: we got our preschool "acceptance" letter -- should we frame it?) We have a Lih vacation (supposedly) begining of August so we'd need to train Tobey before then. Leaving training until July might be cutting it a little close. But since we have a Chang vacation in June, maybe we should start before June. And since starting in May but vacationing in June might be a little interruptive, we figured, we better start right away. Hence, this past weekend in late April.

Was Tobey ready? We didn't seriously consider whether he was or not. Our calendar dictated our attempt this weekend, even though we've read articles that say there's no real advantage to training "too" early -- he ends up being trained at the same point in time, whether you start early and spend a long time training or if you do a crash course. It's just too nerve wracking to leave it for July, despite Ava's experience with the magical moment of 2 years 11 months.

Were we ready? I was starting to get nervous come Thursday and Friday. I felt a little unprepared, despite us talking about starting this weekend. No potty videos. Just one potty book that was first bought as a gift but now is a keeper since we had no media to help ease Tobey into the idea. Tom, in true Chang fashion, researched potty seats, wondering if our hand me down seat was too small and if our toilet seat insert was up to snuff enough. He settled on the Baby Bjorn potties, which only added to my stress. It's Friday. When will I have the time to look for it, especially when I have no idea how to train and am unsure if it's necessary anyway? But most of all, I was stressed about training because I had a really tough week with Tobey disciplinewise. We butt heads and struggled all week, the last thing I wanted to do was run into a battle of the wills when it came to potty training. I wasn't confident that I could keep training positive and upbeat given the week that we had. I considered putting it off but again, our calendar dictated that we should at least try.

Saturday started out exciting. Tobey running around in big boy underwear and a new kitchen timer to remind Tom and me to remind Tobey. When he had a couple of accidents (including a poop) we went to plan B: bare bottom. The rest of Saturday could be called a success with Tobey telling us when he needed to go and he could go on the potty. I was sick and tired of that same potty training book but if it means a potty trained kid, okay.

We had no idea if we were confusing Tobey by putting on a diaper during nap and at bedtime. But we did it because we felt like he was only barely getting the idea while he was awake.

Sunday was a different story. He had an accident and a couple of successes in the morning while I stayed home (Tom went to church). When I went to church and Tom stayed home, it was all accidents and not just that, it was accidents followed by Tobey being really upset at the accidents. I guess on the one hand we could try to funnel that energy into motivating him to train. But on the other, we were feeling like training might turn into a negative experience or a battle of the wills if this went on too much longer. It seemed pretty clear that he would have no idea he was going until he saw a puddle or a patty and to us, that meant he wasn't ready.

So I guess the result of the weekend is that he's not ready. I guess that's like answers to prayer too: sometimes the answer can be "no". The process showed me how impatient I am in teaching Tobey new things though. Although I thought we were encouraging and upbeat even in accidents, inside, I couldn't understand why he couldn't train when he was pretty successful on Saturday. I probably will never understand a toddler that way, but between now and our next attempt (maybe after our June vacation?), I hope to muster up some more compassion.

Things in the Chang household were definitely more relaxed and fun after we called it quits. We didn't even tell Tobey. We just let him keep his nap diaper on. He never complained and neither did we.