Disciplining others' kids

I made a mistake and I know it. And I need to apologize tonight for it.

Yesterday at a party I was looking at a nice photo book with a few kids, including Tobey, hovering around me, looking with me. They got pretty hyper pretty fast, looking at all the exotic pictures and making up funny names. Several times I had to warn them about touching the nice book or bringing their sticks near it. I'd hate to have ripped, stained or poked pages.

So at this one point, the kids were laughing and one boy in particular was laughing very loud. He was laughing an "I'm so funny" attention-getting-listen-to-me kind of fake laugh, one that is familiar to me because Tobey does it sometimes too. But this boy was in my ear. He was so close to my ear that my ear kind of rung afterward.

I was pretty annoyed because, while he wasn't deliberately trying to hurt my ears, he was deliberately being loud. But the key thing I forgot: he wasn't my child.

So my gut responded: "MY EARS HURT BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO LOUD. IF YOU CAN'T BE QUIET, THEN YOU CAN'T LOOK AT THE BOOK ANYMORE." It was stern and loud enough that his dad, our friend, came over from beyond the porch where we were. It was then I realized, oops, was I that loud?

These friends are supernice so the dad looked at him and told their child that it was almost time to go. But a few minutes later, the mom came over to ask what happened. From what I could gather, she was asking in a concerned-that-my-child-was-misbehaving kind of voice, not in a blaming-me kind of voice. I should have apologized right then and there, but I didn't have my thoughts together enough to say it. I brushed it off as a no-big-deal thing but realized later that it probably was a big deal.

I babysit this kid sometimes when I babysit this group of friends' kids. I've spoken to him sternly before because he does tend to yell when he's 1-ft. away or interrupt. Things within the realm of normal kid stuff, although out of this group, he does it a little more. So I'm accustomed to telling him to stop, but just not in public at a party and not usually so sternly.

My Monday playgroup moms and I usually have an understanding that we can tell each other's kids what not to do. Although we've never gotten to a point of yelling (with 3 moms and 6 kids, you would hope we don't have to get to the point of yelling!), we have spoken and admonished each others' kids before. But I don't have that explicit understanding with these friends, even though we babysit for each other. The parents of this boy have high standards for behavior, that I know, but I'm pretty sure yelling is not their discipline of choice, especially in public. It's not mine either, but it came out.

So I need to apologize to my friends because "auntie" became "mommy" and while I'm not proud of yelling at my kids, I'm more ashamed of yelling at someone else's.