Dirty jobs

Tom and I recently have been TiVoing Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe on Discovery. This guy tries out all these really gross or dirty jobs including recently the SF sewage treatment plant, collecting owl vomit and cutting marble in Colorado. After the last 24+ hours, I feel like submitting my job: mom.

Sunday

8AM - Morning nursing for Eli. His upper lip is encrusted in dried snot and I have to suck out the wet snot so he can breathe while nursing. Numerous used tissues sitting on the guest bed as a result.
1PM - Lunch w/ Steve & Nancy. Tobey chews on lettuce for too long and vomits.
6PM - Dinner at home. Trying to feed stinky formula/rice cereal combo to Eli who keeps grabbing the spoon because he thinks it works like a bottle (the more you suck on it, the more comes out). His copious amounts of drool leaves a watered down version of his dinner in the bowl. At least 7 napkins used. More would have been used but we ran out of napkins on the table.
9PM - Bedtime routine for Tobey. While giving him Children's Advil for his fever, he REALLY vomits, getting our couch dirty and a trip to the bathtub. I think the supersweetness of the medicine caused him to gag.

Monday

6:30AM - Eli wakes up with stuffy nose again. Suck.
8:00AM - Change Eli. What's that smell? His cheeks smell like boogers and his PJ lapel smells like a mildewy towel because of his drool.
9AM - Change Tobey. His diaper felt empty but when I check, there's a large softy poopy that really really stinks.
1PM - Return from Trader Joe's. Tobey helps sort groceries and for fun decides to try to toss the Spicy Feta dip into the fridge. The plastic container falls to the ground cracking, splattering stinky cheese dip on the floor.
2PM - Change Eli. He has a poopy blowout and because of the recent addition of formula and rice cereal to his diet, the poopy is pasty and stinky. And because it blew out, I can't just run his onesie under water and treat with a stain stick, I have to rub off the gunk.

How's that, Mike Rowe? (Please don't turn me in to CPS. It's not as unsanitary here as it sounds.)