Annoying

A decent day turned sour real fast.

This morning we visited a preschool, went to a park and Safeway. All went pretty well, including lunch for both Tobey and Eli, who was watching Tobey eat applesauce so he ate his oatmeal quite well.

Things went sour with Tobey at the pre-nap diaper change, as they always seem to do. I know it's a sensitive time (I can't wait to get both kids down) and yet I fall into the same trap all the time. Tobey started kicking (as he often does) and knocked me straight in the jaw while I was changing his poopy diaper. I was mad, not because it hurt (because it actually didn't), but because he hasn't been learning to stay still. He could have caused a real injury but that went completely above him.

Like a bad Supernanny episode, I wrapped up his still poopy diaper back on him and plopped him, literally dropped him, in the hallway corner, out of rage with no explanation. I left and fumed in his bedroom with Eli while Tobey actually seemed amused at the whole thing.

I knew I had "lost" the battle in that I reacted, thus making the experience fun for Tobey, as exemplified by his chipper mood during naughty corner. At least I properly finished up naughty corner with the explanation and getting an apology so we went back to changing the diaper. Squirmy, he looked me straight in the eye and kicked again. Saying nothing, I plopped him in the corner with him LAUGHING on the way.

I got Eli, went into the office and slammed the door shut, practically in his face.

"Mommy, close it gently," said my inmate enjoying himself in the hall. It is humiliating and frustrating not to be able to discipline a toddler.

I change Eli's diaper, put him down for a nap and enter in the hallway. Begin the silent treatment.

Silent treatment is not an agreed upon "discipline" or form of "communication" in our home. But it just happened because I had nothing left to say to Tobey. I refused to get into a verbal battle, coaxing, reasoning, threatening or commanding. I dragged him into his room. Put his pants back on (somewhere I did manage to get a new diaper on), plopped him into his crib, slammed the crib rail up, turned on his music and shut the door. No "have a good nap nap", no goodbyes.

On my way out, I heard him asking for Bobocat. He asked nicely and under normal circumstances I would have been happy to fetch Bobocat for him. But Tobey had no concept of how ticked off I was at his behavior. He just didn't "get it" this afternoon. And for that, I was going to punish him by not giving in to his Bobocat request, no matter how nicely he asked for it.

He called for it for 10-15 minutes and while I contemplated just throwing Bobocat into his crib and walking out again, just the mere giving of attention was against all that I wanted to do at the moment. I was determined to "win" this stupid little battle and I finally did.

Yeah, who's the mature one now? :-
The worst part of this is that Tobey probably is learning from MY behavior. Some day, he is going to slam doors in my face when he's mad and I probably have no one to blame but myself.