My day off

Tom graciously gave me a day off on Saturday. It was wonderful! It felt long as it was the longest time I've been away from the kid/s besides the one overnight off that Dennis & Denise gave us last year (but then half of that I was asleep).

Since I nurse Eli first thing in the morning, I made a deal with Tom that I'd get up to nurse him as long as I can crawl back into bed afterward. Luckily, Eli slept in (plus, wisely, Tom and I went to bed early -- 10PM!) so I didn't have to go back for the post-sleep nap. Tom took over the morning routine right away and I got ready in peace. It was interesting to see how Tom handled the morning routine similarly or differently than I do. For one thing, he handled Eli's blowout more calmly than I do when I see one (I usually roll my eyeballs, "Not again..."). Another thing I noticed was that he let Tobey talk to him in the bathroom while he showered whereas I usually close the door and treat it as my sanctuary. I tried leaving the door open this morning and Tobey not only came in to talk through my shower, he also once opened my shower door when I couldn't understand what he said. I'm thinking of keeping my shower time as a sanctuary.

Back to Saturday, I resisted the urge to give tips on how I do the morning (hash browns on the tray, not directly on the toaster oven rack) or try to make things more efficient (or make wardrobe corrections). This was Tom's day, or Tom's rendition of my day, and I should just get out of the way and be on my way. I headed off to my favorite meal of the day, breakfast, at Country Inn. As I set off, I totally felt like Rachael Ray, perky, happy and looking for a yummy table for one.

Our "rule" for "time off" is to do things that we enjoy that we couldn't ordinarily do with kids (not just try to do the same old thing but just more efficient, like running errands). My creative work for MTO kind of falls on the borderline because I chose the creative role because I do enjoy it. But it is almost like an errand, although I can never go to a scrapbook store with the kids for any extended period of time. Anyway, after breakfast I went there to "punch out some heads" for the nametags, then I went to Stanford Mall to try on clothes to add more pizazz to my wardobe (found nothing). It was nice to do both at leisure and to wander wherever I wanted to go.

Did I miss the kids? Of course, a little, Eli a little more than Tobey (since Eli isn't the defiant 2-year old). When I saw families at Gymboree or PBK, I felt like saying, "I have a beautiful family too!". When I saw people pushing their babies in strollers, I missed Eli's cute smile. But for the most part, I enjoyed the freedom to go where I would enjoy and the quiet from crying and endless questions.

I lost track of time since I didn't need to heed a child's schedule and my laundered phone (i.e., my clock) was still on the fritz. I ate lunch at Peninsula Creamery at 2:45, seat for one at the counter, exactly the way I pictured it. When I thought about what to do with my remaining time, I thought about more shopping, since my attempts to find something new for myself came up fruitless. But I also thought, maybe I should do something different with my day. It surprsingly occured to me that I hadn't been up to Grandma's resting place since she passed away so I took a spontaneous drive up 280 and 92 (beautiful) to Skylawn.

The weather, though a little chilly, was beautiful, the way it's supposed to if you visit Grandma and Grandpa. I could see the Pacific and I saw Grandma's plaque. It was there that I truly got a way from it all, almost forgetting the details of why I get upset all the time with Tobey. It was like my old visits to Grandma's apartment after a tiring day of teaching: time stops, the "outside world" seems to disappear and you just relax in the presence of calm. I also missed Grandma, wishing she could hear Tobey talk even better and see Eli still smile at her without hesitation.

The nice thing about all that time off was a chance to get outside of myself as well as get away. "Get away" for me these days is anything beyond Sunnyvale and Mtn View as the 2-child lifestyle has really made doing anything further rather undesirable. So when I drove home and was on the familiar highway exit and familiar local streets, it wasn't dreadful or "old". It almost looked unrecognizable since my whole day was away.

I came home to find the playroom no neater than I have it when Tom comes home. Tom was prepping for dinner (his first time in a while; it was pretty good!) and Eli was entertaining himself. Tom made it through the day "incident free" and got quite the stay-at-home mommy experience. He made plans to go to the library to get our card when halfway out the door Eric & CC called about going out to lunch at the last minute. So Tom did what I only sometimes do: go out to lunch with both kids. Eric was impressed that Tom was playing Mr. Mom for the whole day ("You're making us look bad, Tom") and CC got some grand ideas about how to get time off from her two. :-) Tom still made it to the library, more than I usually do in a day. Of course a part of me wanted him to go through one incident with the kids so he can more closely identify with my typical day. But the nice thing about the "incident free" day: hopefully he's not closed to the idea of doing this again in the future! :-)

Thanks, Tom!