Not a researcher

I listened to an MP3 of a Family Life Today broadcast on a tip from an email from a mom's group that I don't even go to anymore. As I listened about putting a stop to whining, I started realizing, I haven't really consulted the "experts" on our parenting challenges with Tobey. I haven't read books or listened up about parenting since Tobey was in the baby phase when all my questions were about what to feed and how to put to sleep. When it comes to behavior, I don't know why I've been trying to rely on my own knowledge instead of trying to learn more.

For one thing, I'm not really a natural researcher. Contrast with Tom who has been laboring over the digital SLR decision full-speed for two weeks at the least, consulting websites, emailing friends, visiting Circuit City. This isn't to say that I'm not a detailed person or that I don't work hard. I am and do but in select ways. When we started running into problems with Tobey in his two's, Tom started his "research", whether it was reading a book like "Love and Logic" or consulting family and friends like Dennis or Richard. Me? I kind of wallowed in the dilemma and tried to figure things out myself given past experience or things that I could remember from my mom's wisdom.

Which brings me to the other reason might be because I thought I could figure things out myself with no child psychology degree or background. Thinking that I'm more people oriented or always figuring out other people's intentions, I guess I thought I could figure out toddlers instead of looking for external ideas. Maybe I just thought that because my mom raised me, that I could just take that and turn it around to my kids. None of you need to tell me how insufficient that is. Ironically, my mom read a lot of books while raising us.

I read books for the baby phase because that was more logistical (like when to give solids or when might kids start walking) versus behavioral. Especially with Eli, I feel like I've done it before with Tobey so I haven't even been reading baby books for Eli (well, and probably don't really need to). But everything with Tobey is still new/first time and this preschooler phase is much more challenging and intimidating and I should be reading up or researching more about it.