The "test" in testimony

I never claimed in my testimony that my temper and control issues were solved, only confessed. And so Tobey tests me today, to see if I'm serious about letting God take control over my reaction to immediate behavior issues.

Tobey is in a destructive mood today, dumping toys, throwing things. I warned him about throwing foam puzzle pieces, not because they were harmful, but because I didn't want him to get into the mood of throwing everything and I didn't want Eli to learn from him (those both sound like futile wishes now that I think about it). He promptly forgot the warning and I gave him a timeout for not listening. Later after Costco, he was dumping toys aimlessly with Eli enjoying the antics.

At the dumping of the toys, I really couldn't quite say what he was doing "wrong". I didn't like the way he was playing, it was a complete mess and most irritating to me, he was too happy doing it. But I was rather sick of sounding like a clanging gong, I couldn't come up with a great reason for him to stop (besides the mess) so I just walked away. I decided not to fight it, especially since I can't control it, and went to eat my Costco lunch. So long as I don't hear Eli choking or crying, I was just going to let them be.

A "victory"? Only in the sense that I had one less outburst today (among the others that did happen today) than if I had decided to fight it. But I think the victory was in giving my testimony and feeling like, having told my fellow moms about wanting to yield control to God, I owed it to them to keep my outbursts and control issues in check.