Packing

Tom and Tobey are packing for their camping trip this weekend. For reasons ranging from poison oak to the creek next to the campsites to Eli's inability to stay within a certain perimeter without constant supervision, Eli and I are staying home. I am fine with it -- last year we moms and babies had an easy weekend when the dads and older boys went camping last year. I am looking forward to a similarly pleasant weekend, although I actually am not sure what to do to keep me and Eli properly entertained that doesn't involve me at a mall and Eli stuck in a stroller in the women's shoe section at Nordstrom Rack.

Anyway, for any kind of trip, Tom and I have clearly defined packing roles. Tom packs for himself and I pack for everyone else. Tom packs the technogear (cameras, chargers, etc.) and I pack snacks and entertainment for the kids. Sometimes it feels unequal to me because of the sheer amount of stuff I am organizing compared to Tom, but 1) Tom praised me in front of growth group and couples group about how good a packer I am so I know he appreciates it and 2) I am afraid that, left to someone else, we will forget something essential (that's the control freak in me).

I can't remember exactly how the packing went for last year's camping trip. I think I did the packing for Tobey, his clothes, etc. but obviously Tom did the dressing. Knowing I can't control everything, especially when I'm not there, I've decided to "let go" and stay out of packing for this year's camping altogether. And so Tom is packing now for Tobey.

But being his first foray into packing for Tobey, Tom just came into the room with a pile of clothes for practical and fashion advice. Things he did well: he picked some long sleeved shirts for evening and he actually put together outfits instead of just 2 random shirts and 2 random shorts that don't go together. Things I had to comment on: Tobey picked out short PJ's but Tom forgot that it won't be warm enough for sleeping outside and Tobey will probably get clothes so dirty that he needs a warm and cool weather outfit for EACH day. And since Tom did ask for fashion advice, I had to remind him that navy shorts and sneakers is not a look I prefer and because I lobbied for the relative durability of jeans, I managed to convince Tom to save the ugly yellow train sweatpants that Tobey loves so much for PJ insulation (i.e., will never see the light of day, or the flash of the camera).

You may feel sorry for Tom, that he has to live up to my standards of packing. However, 1) if Tobey comes back having caught a cold, my "work week" will be affected so I have some stake in the packing, even if I'm trying to be "hands off", 2) I'm also trying to help Tobey be as comfortable as possible which will make Tom's experience that much more pleasant, 3) Tom and the other dads have avoided a large chunk of preparing for camping because Cindy and Angela are taking care of all of the food and cooking, so he needs to work a little for this trip. :-) When I asked Tom if there were a lot of emails among the group, now that camping is coming in a week, he said no. When Hoa asked if they needed another camping stove, Tom shrugged. When I asked what kind of food they were having for the trip, Tom shrugged and said Cindy sent out a menu but he forgot what was on it. When Cindy wanted steak knives to bring, she emailed me instead of Tom (I consequently cc'ed Tom and got out of the conversation). It's a wonder that the guys made this all happen last year themselves.

Well, "it's a wonder" that the guys did this themselves, but last year they were fed, didn't come back with colds and had fun. So maybe I don't need to be such a packing nazi after all.