Not joining "the club"

Our good friends, who at some point had 3 kids under 4 years old, joke with us about joining their "club", the club of people with 3 kids. I think my ambivalence about going for that third kid has turned into almost certainty that we are sticking with just our two. I still get a pang once in a while for a third, mostly because I feel like the boys are growing so fast. But instead of prolonging the agony of having babies/toddlers (can you tell that's not my favorite stage of childhood?) I realized I should just savor the time I have with the boys at their current stage.

So as if our minds weren't already 99.9% made up that two is it for us, we babysat our nieces this past weekend. It wasn't the first time we've done so, but it's the first time I've seen the situation (i.e., caring for four kids) with a little more clarity. And ironically, I was recounting our weekend with my friend who survived three kids under four...

So to answer your questions, yes, the kids all went to Sunday school. Only two (Tobey and the younger niece) were in the same class so we had three drop offs in two different buildings. They were with us the whole weekend but Tom's brother was around until Saturday night. Then he had to work and his wife was away for the weekend (she went on a weekend whirlwind trip with a girlfriend celebrating her 40th, gives me ideas for mine!). So we watched the girls ourselves Sunday until Monday lunch when they were picked up.

Bedtime wasn't bad because they are older (Eli's the youngest). So they can dress and brush their teeth themselves. Actually, it helps because they all go together. I couldn't imagine the struggle if they had different bedtimes and the cries of no fair! And then Tom just reads to all four at the same time and then prays for each individually when he tucks them in.

But we fully understand that it is much harder when they are your own kids. For one thing, the four of them are cousins, not all siblings so they actually LIKE being with each other, there's still a novelty that has worn off with siblings. :-) Tobey pairs off with E (almost 8) and Eli and R (age 5) are like two peas in a pod. Did you see the video of Eli and his cousin building a little brick house for a stuffed pet? They clearly had different opinions on how to build it but they were very cordial. That totally wouldn't have happened with their respective siblings!

And then we did a lot of "herding" with the four of them. But I think if they were all ours on a full time basis, we'd have to do some more individual stuff, like what you were saying. So our tactic works for about a weekend. And after that, they probably need some more one on one or at least some individual attention. I couldn't imagine taking one kid for some one on one time and the other parent still has three more kids left!

And finally, I realized, after their mom came to pick them up, that the girls, especially the younger one R, was on her best behavior because we are still just auntie and uncle. She has a lot of "personality" ;-) and I think she held it together all weekend because she was still a guest. But once her mom walked in the door, she felt more free with her feelings and emotions and wooboy! I would not have been able to handle that with as much grace, especially with three other kids around.

And since I'm the cook/food supplier in our house, boy, we only added two little people to our brood and we were eaten out of house and home! We went through a half gallon of milk in about 1 day. And one of them doesn't even drink cow's milk! No wonder when the family who sold us this house was excited about the free meals at our church (we ended up at the same church that they left) -- they had four kids at the time too and that's a lot of food saved if there's a free meal out!

So those are my thoughts on having a bigger family. Sorry we probably won't be joining "the club" (intentionally) anytime in the foreseeable future. I feel like I struggle as it is with two and mentally, I'm kind of moving on into the elementary school stage of parenting (homework routine, social dynamics, etc.). I don't think I could change a diaper and turn around and help with homework, I'm not good at shifting gears like that. I actually fed a 4 month old baby a bottle last week for a mom at mom's group and it was sweet. It made me think! But it was nice to give him back too. :-)

Sorry, CC, no club for us. Not on purpose at least. ;-)