The mall experience

Went to the mall today for the first time with two kids, I think. Temps are in the 90's this week and I just had to beat the heat.

It was actually a relaxing time for me. Although the mall wasn't as frigid as I had hoped, it did the job, along with a Jamba Juice. Tobey and Eli were very cooperative for the first part of our trip, allowing me to return stuff and do a little shopping (getting the mall's free balloons helped halfway). We ended with a stop at the mall play area.

The play area was crazy. I wasn't sure what I was expecting. Maybe I was expecting it to be not as crowded as it was about 2:00 when we went and I thought all the little kids would be napping. There was nowhere for me to sit in the play area and feed Eli in our behemoth double stroller so I let Tobey go himself while I watched from a small table chair setup on the other side of the enclosing benches. It was nice, Tobey playing on his own, seeing if I was watching him as he did a "big jump" off a ladybug structure. It was sweet, as if he liked that I was keeping watch over him.

Things did turn a little sour when he approached the entrance to the play area aiming to go out to the coin rides. I shouted his name and he looked back. I shook my head and pointed into the play area. He stepped out one step, looked back and I still shook my head. Then he ran away off to the coin rides.

It was one of the first times I literally dropped everything to go after him. And I had to be smart about it because I was alone so I couldn't leave Eli or my purse behind but clearly had no time to gather all the stuff I had pulled out to feed Eli. Tobey wasn't so adventurous in his younger years (year?) of mobility, either that or he wasn't as fast and I wasn't as tied down to something else. When I got him, he got the lecture, complained, and had to sit next to me until I was done feeding Eli.

But after I was done with Eli, Tobey got to play around on the coin rides. Since I never got to actually ride on the rides when I was a kid, I am not used to even considering plunking down a few quarters for the momentary thrill. It's not so much cheapiness as it is refusing to get suckered into doing something just because my kid might whine about it. Turns out that a mom had put money into a mini-carousel and invited Tobey to ride on one of the three horsies along with her daughter. So after she pitched in a round or two, I felt it only right for me to contribute, lest I look like a cheapskate waiting for someone else to pay for my kid's ride. And I don't know where Tobey picked up that you need money for these rides but he sure asked for it. Nope, I said, we already rode the carousel. I wonder what our rule will be on subsequent mall visits.

A visit to one last store for a gift and when we had to walk past the coin rides again, Tobey wanted to climb on the horse, the one ride he didn't get around to exploring. I said it was time to go and he could try it next time to which I was answered with a big scream. I chose to ignore it because I didn't want to get into a battle with him at the mall (plus, the play area was so loud anyway) but a few steps later, another screech to which I saw people jump. I got a couple of glares but just kept walking. I thought it was over because he had stopped but just before leaving the mall, he screeched one more time to which there were glares and turnarounds and I was seething. I squashed his cheeks and gave him the stern angry talk. I told him that people get scared when he screeches and it's not okay. He started to cry when I squashed his cheeks but I said he is not to scream or cry anymore to the car. He actually complied and thus was the sour end to our otherwise okay mall trip.

On that note, we've been talking a bit on how to more effectively discipline Tobey. Our warnings have fallen on deaf ears and timeouts/naughty corners don't seem to have a lasting affect. In one blatant act of disobedience while at Niagara Falls, Tom actually spanked Tobey which seemed to work well. Tom has been reading a website on parenting called Effective Parenting to kind of help us do this discipline thing a little better (mostly, "timeouts" that get him to think about what he did wrong, why it was wrong and how he can do it better next time). I know I should read up on it too. I remember even blogging that instead of picturing this stage of my life as being life "on hold", I should really embrace and "get into" this parenting job a little more. But sometimes when I get a break, a breather from the kids, one of the last things I really feel like doing is reading up about them too. Take that back, maybe the last thing I really feel like doing is cooking in this heat.