Girl interrupted

The hallmark of being a parent, especially being at home with the kids all day, is getting interrupted. And I've done it now for 3.5 years. So why is it this week that I felt so deeply offended at being interrupted by the boys?

Scene 1 - Target. Maybe it was because that day I was in "the zone", the zone where all I had planned for the day was to be productive. I had a list of 2-3 places I wanted to go with shopping lists and reminders in hand. So I couldn't stand it when I went to the in-store Starbuck's to get a scone for my breakfast, Tobey and Eli started up:

"I want a straw, Mommy, can I play with a straw?"
"Yes, you can."
"Can I have some, Mommy, I'm hungry?"
"No, this is Mommy's breakfast. You already had breakfast."
"But I'm hungry. I want to eat some-bin."
"You just ate at the Y. I didn't eat anything today yet. This is mine."
"Nyehhh!" (Eli: "I want some.")

Just imagine (or maybe some of you don't have to imagine) that this is happening in every aisle that I stop at. I walk by in a semi-daze because I'm half looking for something and half answering preschooler questions, pushing the cart with my elbows while feeding scone to a toddler. I actually required using brainpower while choosing a cheapo non-stick pan but I could not think straight because my train of thought would get interrupted. And wouldn't you know it, I come home with a pan and Tom thinks maybe it's not the best kind. Of course it isn't, because after standing 5 minutes in the pan aisle, I just grabbed the last thing I saw and moved on so the kids would have something else to look at.

Scene 2 - The minivan, after growth group. For an unknown reason (probably overtiredness), Eli started to yelp and cry on our way home. I had not only spent all day with my kids but also I did the babysitting for the evening so by 8:30, I was up to my ears in kids and noise. And since I did the babysitting, I was asking Tom what went on during the meeting and how everyone was doing. So when Eli started on his little tirade, I just couldn't stand it anymore. I literally plugged my ears with my fingers. The only thing missing was me closing my eyes and saying "La la la, I can't hear you." I felt bad for abandoning Tom mid-conversation and leaving him behind to deal with trying to talk sense into Eli but at that point, I had to be in my own little silent world or I would have burst. And it doesn't matter now whether Tom had updated me on anyone in the group because from that point on, my memory shut down.

Scene 3 - The minivan, almost any other time. Driving in the car with the kids (well, just Tobey at the time) used to be a fun experience. Especially in the toddler days when I viewed any trip in the car as a teaching experience, to teach new vocabulary and traffic rules or make observations about cars and houses. Now I crave for the drives to be the solace that it used to be when I used to drive about on my own. Before I've even released the parking break to back out of the garage, Tobey has already requested his favorite "Disney on Ice" song (a song on James & Cindy's wedding CD that the monkeys skated to in Disney on Ice). And after the song is over, he asks, "Again?" and keeps asking until I respond. After my couple of minivan mishaps, I realized that playing DJ is a significant factor in my being distracted in the car. Not only did I have to make a rule that I do not take song requests until I'm at least out of the driveway, I've also explained that if I ignore him (Tobey) in the car, it's because I need to focus on driving. And, in my more irritable moments, I've also declared "quiet rides" where no one talks or makes noise until we arrive at our destination (it only works sometimes; Tobey still tries to whisper). I've declared "my turn" for songs on several occasions because 1) I'm sick of Disney on Ice, 2) I want to listen to my own music and 3) I want to teach Tobey a lesson that in this on-demand/TiVo world that we live in, sometimes you can't get what you want when you want it. This car issue is obviously not resolved because my blood is already boiling just thinking about the car experience with Tobey. And what's Eli doing during all of our little car rides? Sucking on his two fingers quietly. How I enjoy those silent rides with Eli. It's no wonder he doesn't say anything. After all the talking with Tobey, the last thing I want to do with a quiet Eli in the car is to talk.

I'm sure that the cure to the frustration of being interrupted is to lower my expectations. But it pains me to think that I have to relinquish all control over my environment to my kids. I don't think it's healthy for them to monopolize me anyway. But in the meantime, I can't seem to shake 'em off when I need to either.