I'm in time out right now

I am in a self-imposed time out, hiding out in our locked bedroom.

Pora gave us a great tool table that needed assembly. While I didn't expect to spend an hour this morning assembling it, I did, hoping it would buy me hours of peace as we get ready for Tom's parents to come this week.

The "beaver" temperament in me came out as I diligently followed directions, needing to shoo away Tobey and Eli every once in a while, especially when Eli got the scissors. I tried to involve Tobey when I could, getting me certain parts, teaching him where things went. But sometimes, I just had to do it myself, like when screwing in screws and bolts into plastic.

All was well until the very very last step which was to put the ruler sticker on the front of the tool table. There was a subtle smooth rectangle where the sticker was to go and so I carefully lined up the sticker, ready to place carefully...when...

Tobey tried to "help" and stuck his finger down to stick the sticker down in place. Since this is meant to be a permanent sticker, that side of the sticker was down for good. I tried pulling it out of place but it wouldn't unpeel. Commence frustration and yelling. The pathetic thing was, I was yelling and "grrrr!"ing with two ends of the stickers still in my hand, like I myself was the one who was stuck to the table. In the end, at least the rule was straight. But it doesn't line up with the smooth rectangle, which irks me to no end.

What was I so mad about? To be honest, I am most mad that the sticker is not dead center where it's "supposed to be". But I can assure you that 99 out of 100 visitors to our house will never notice, leaving that 1 person as psychotic as me about the sticker needing to be perfect. And 100 out of 100 kids will never ever notice.

What should I be mad about? I should be mad about Tobey's not listening to directions. Countless times while I was assembling, I had to slow him down. He was so excited about the tool table and so wanting to help out, but more than once I had to remind him that sometimes once you snap something into place, it won't let you take it back out so we have to be careful to put it in right the first time.

How could I have handled it better? At first I thought I should have assembled this in peace while the kids were asleep. But lessons can be learned, not just about how to work together but for me, how to handle my frustration better. In my frustrated tirade, I purposely didn't make eye contact with Tobey. Sure, I was undoubtedly addressing him when I was yelling about not following my directions, but whether it was my shame or just not wanting to make him cry, I yelled while looking at the table or forward, but not at Tobey. And the fact that I'm here and not still yelling at Tobey (or not giving Tobey the time out), is an improvement, because while Tobey did the offense of not following directions, Mommy is the one that needs a cool down.

The kicker in all of this, which is actually very embarassing for me to admit? The tool table is not perfect, not because of the sticker incident. But because when I went to put the toy cell phone on its hook, I found that I had inserted one of the hooks upside down. And remember my warning to Tobey that you must do things carefully and according to direction because sometimes you don't get a chance to fix it?

Uh, yeah. That just happened to me. Probably in more ways than one. I should probably come out of time out now. I've got a bit of apologizing to do.