Control over my own house

Our house was "grand central station" for a couple weeks there. I enjoyed the activity, the entertainment for the kids, the built-in company of people staying over or family activities. The one thing I didn't anticipate though is the nagging feeling that I don't have control over my household anymore.

My family was in town under abnormal circumstances: the passing of Grandma. So not only were they in town for the big life celebration, they were here to deal with her stuff. Being the nearest relative in the area, we got a lot of Grandma stuff that I did not want and did not want to deal with. I don't know if my mom kept bringing Grandma's stuff home to us because she didn't have the heart to throw it away herself? Because when I finally said, "Mommy, I really don't want that and I really don't want that accumulating in our garage.", she said, after listing the merits of a particular item, that we don't have to keep anything, we can give it away. Why not give it away yourself?, I'm thinking. But maybe it's too much to ask he to toss out stuff when she just lost her mother.

So we are still discovering things in our house that my mom has cleverly stashed without our knowledge like Grandma's garlic powder, a mug that has no sentimental value, a kebab set. I guess I'm like my mom. I feel bad having to throw the stuff out too, which is why I didn't want it here in the first place.

The other aspect of control that I lack when family is visiting are the little quirks that signify that someone else is living in my house. Most of the time it doesn't really bother me. Mostly my mother-in-law's habits bother me from when she doesn't squeeze out the sink sponge to leaving wads of used paper towels on the kitchen counter. (I had to laugh when Denise said, "What's with these dirty paper towels next to the trash can?") Even the harmless, like the way she bundles up plastic shopping bags or where she keeps the rubberbands, they're all signs of the way she does things, but in my house. Of course I love the perks of when family comes into town, like when both moms wipe down the splattered stove. I'll grit my teeth the next time I see that paper towel wad.

I thought Denise was a little over the top when she admitted she rearranges the dirty dishes in the dishwasher when someone else loads it differently than she does. Now I think I understand.