Time to throw in the towel?

Maybe because I come from a family of 3 kids, but I have this notion that my family isn't "full" or complete until there's a third child. And Tom and I talked about three kids, reevaluating that number after each kid. And so here we are on number two and I'm reevaluating.

Can I really handle a third? Eli is a good baby, as affirmed by the church childcare today at the mom's group planning meeting -- he didn't fuss at all. But just juggling two gets busy. And this week I'm experiencing impatience with Tobey's toddlerisms again, leading me to wonder if I really care to deal with Eli's toddlerisms when it's his turn, much less a 3rd child's. After our torturous drive back from Monterey when one or both kids were crying the entire way home, Tom declared, "We are NOT having a third!" Although I figured that was just a comment made out of frustration of the moment (a LONG 1 hour and 15 minute moment), it does make me wonder if we're up for the crying, etc. one more time.

I never understood some of the special sympathies people give when they find that you're in the "small children" phase of your life. Now I understand. I also now wonder whether I can stand to prolong this phase with a third. And it makes me sad to think of that third child that we may be missing out on if we decide to stop with Eli.