Nursing woes

The end of nursing isn't quite here yet, but I've been saying that I'd be happy if I made it to a year of nursing Eli with the way things are going. I'm thankful for supplementing and think it has been the best for Eli under the circumstances. But I can tell from my night pumping that I'm making less and every big change in our routine (from visitors to vacation) seems to affect my production significantly. With L.A. coming up this weekend, I think I can keep up our usual routine, including tossing the pump into our car and pumping at night while we're down there. But with the Niagara Falls in June for a week, I anticipate going to a twice a day morning and nighttime nursing schedule since I won't haul the pump with us on the plane. And then Eli turns one in July and we'll just see if we even make it that far.

I'm sad to say that when the time comes, I don't think I'll have the same kind of nostalgia for nursing with Eli that I did with Tobey. I think at my last nursing with Tobey, I teared up a little, realizing that, besides diaper changes, this was one "activity" that Tobey's done since 20 min. out of the womb. Of course Eli started out the same but since month 4 it's been a somewhat worrysome and frustrating experience comparatively. I want to keep nursing Eli into early toddlerhood, but when the end finally comes, I think it will come with a sense of relief for me.