Potty training - part 2, puddles

Things were going well for a while but for an unknown reason, Tobey has been puddling a lot lately. Today it's been 3 times already and I'm at wit's end.

Puddle 1 - Ortega Park. Tobey actually successfully went to the potty at the park bathroom. But just 10 minutes later, he peed, without so much as a "Mommy..." to tell me he has to go. I was standing there talking to a bunch of MTO moms (about potty training ironically) when Angela C. said, "I think he's doing it right now." Mary asked if I thought he was puddling to get a reaction out of me. Maybe. In the beginning of the puddles, I thought I was keeping it cool. Now after 3 days of what looks like semi- deliberate puddles, he is dancing on my last nerve. If it's a power fame, I'm determined to win but it seems like he's winning now.

Puddle 2 - Home. Minette, Cedric and Anyka were actually over. Tobey interrupted my conversation with Minette to tell me he has to pee so I stop, we run over to the bathroom and he stands in front of the potty. "Okay, pull your pants down." NOTHING. "Tobey, pull your pants down, don't pee on the floor." NOTHING. "TOBEY, PULL YOUR PANTS DOWN. WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DO ANY PUDDLES!" NOTHING. Nothing, except pee streaming down his leg. I've now lost it, with company in my house, pull down his pants, even though Angela M. says they're supposed to do it themselves (look where it got me when I did), and I make him sit down. At this point, he's crying and wakes Eli up.

Puddle 3 - Home. Just 10 minutes after puddle 2, after Minette and kids leave, Tobey's outside playing by himself, I'm still seething mad in the kitchen from puddle 2, and he pees on the patio. Then he says, "Mommy!"

Verbal coaching seems to go nowhere. We've told him to tell us earlier. We've asked him if he has any more (since the pee twice in 10 min. thing seems to be a pattern). He will willingly sit on the potty for 15 min. with nothing coming out. Ten minutes later: a puddle.

The thing I can't figure out is "why". I keep asking Tobey (out of frsutration, not that I think he will give meaningful answer) why won't he pull his pants down, why won't he tell Mommy, why does he just stand there. Half the time he puddles, he knows it or he's halfway there. And then stops and stares and pees. I've now figured out that if he stops, he'll pee which is why I wouldn't let him stop walking to the bathroom on Puddle 2 today. But then he won't pull down his pants. Urgh. Just blogging about it makes my blood pressure rise.

The irony? He's doing well on poop. He's pooped in the potty without fail for the past 5 days.

I'm thinking of some kind of incentive, for if he pees in the potty with no puddles and if he can pee a lot. It's so against my philosophy to do it but when I don't think it's a matter of skill but of will, I'm not sure how else to "positively" train him. I don't want to set him up for failure but I don't want to keep blowing up at him either.