Honoring Eli

After a frustrating afternoon of clinginess and no sleep, Eli was the subject of my sharing and prayer request at growth group last night. I'm finding, especially after last week's jet lag and my continued tiredness (after a string of failed nap attempts over the weekend, I think I'm not yet recovered from vacation), I'm cranky and downright hostile to Eli. Ironic, because he can be so cute. But when I'm tired and cranky, then any lack of cooperation on his part, be it short naps, clinginess or getting into trouble, i.e., being an active toddler, really tests my patience.

And so a well-timed reminder came this morning in the form of email parenting tips that Tom and I signed up for after going to a parenting seminar last fall. It's not like I don't know this. But the fact that this arrived today is almost like God telling me that he notices my impatience and this is what I need to work on now.

Honoring Someone Who Doesn't Seem Worth It

Learning how to honor each other in the family is so important because it raises the value of relationships over the issues that might otherwise cause division. When challenged with the concept that honor means to value others, one teen responded honestly, “How can you honor someone you don't really value?” This can be a very real problem and not just for teens. Parents also must honor their children even when their worth or value is not easily apparent.

A teen might dishonor his mom because he doesn’t appreciate her and even considers her opinions foolish. He may overreact, pull away, or make sarcastic remarks. Mom, in turn, may react with anger when treated poorly and over time lose any sense of value she once had for her son. The loss of worth on the part of both parent and teen leads to an erosion in the relationship.

It’s especially harmful when parents give up or become hostile in response to teen rejection. We believe this to be a serious parenting mistake that may contribute to young people searching for different friends and authorities who will listen and accept them.

The solution is to learn to honor by faith. This means that we trust that all people have value in God's sight and that our job is to treat them in better ways than they seem to deserve. This isn't easy and, as parents, it sometimes becomes a real walk of faith. Children can be downright irritating but working with them without degrading them is part of the job.


This parenting tip is taken from the book, "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids."

I feel like I'm in trouble when these parenting tips talk about problems with teenagers and I've already got these problems with my young children. I've also thought about getting that book about whining, complaining and bad attitudes more for ME than my kids.

I also think I need to dust off some of the books that we used to pour over when Tobey was going through his various stages for the first time. I think I forgot (like blocking out all the bad stuff) what it was like to parent someone enterting those toddler years. I am expecting to reason like I can with Tobey but I forget that Eli is only 18 months old.